Become Yourself

I have made many decisions in the last five years that most people in my life didn’t understand. I made the choice to leave a marriage that wasn’t working, to leave a job as a teacher, to pack up my entire apartment into a POD and become a nomad. I made decisions to stop seeking answers from Western medicine and learn first-hand from myself and indigenous and alternative practitioners how to heal myself. I made the decision to spend months upon months in Peru, staring at mountains and jungle rivers, and entering the depths of my unconsciousness, in order (honestly) to heal myself. Along the way, I began to learn a thing or two about true healing that I have been able to share with others. I have made decisions to leave stable sources of income, to say no to things that felt completely in alignment to other people but not to me, to talk and share about profound spiritual experiences that I knew would sound ‘crazy’ to many people in my life. I knew that people in some of my communities would judge me. I knew that the more I grew, the less I would relate to my old life. I knew that I would have to speak truths that would make people uncomfortable—holding up a mirror to their own lives, not because I am right or wrong in my choices, but because the radical nature of many of mine would make them question theirs. And I did it anyway. Because I have been inexplicably drawn to follow the call of my soul. Four years ago, I found out that my last-ditch fertility treatment failed. And as I sobbed myself into another dark night of the soul as the life I planned spiraled out of my reach into the void, I knew something deeper was calling to me. It’s no longer an energy I can even classify as a whisper, a voice, or a call. It’s a pull, like a vortex of me that beckons with the source of gravity. I will become me.  Tomorrow, as we enter a new moon cycle, I challenge you with this: Become yourself at all costs. Let yourself be pulled into the Greatest Mystery that has ever been created. Let go of all you hoped you might be. And learn to fall in love with you you truly are. Listen to the whispers deep inside your aching human heart, and leap. There is so much more.